A thousand-year-old story finds new relevance when applied to a modern-day community
Recently, Jews around the world celebrated the holiday of Passover with what is known as a “seder” – a ritual feast. A central activity of the seder (besides the festive meal) is the reading of a relatively short text known as the Haggadah, written about a thousand years ago, which tells the story of the Jewish people’s exodus from Egypt approximately 3,000 years ago. A well-known passage toward the beginning of the Haggadah posits a family with four sons – a wise son, an evil son, a simple son, and a son who does not know how to ask a question – and then proceeds to suggest how to relate the story of the exodus from Egypt to each one of those sons.
The four sons (each of whom could, of course, be daughters) can be likened to four types of residents in a community association, and the handling of the four sons in the Haggadah similarly provides a guide to dealing with like-minded residents in your community.
The Haggadah recommends explaining to the “wise” son the laws of Passover, since he has shown interest in learning about the traditions and recognizes the importance of being an educated member of the community.
The “wise” resident in your community is the one who already understands the basic aspects of living in a condominium, co-op or homeowner’s association
He/she appreciates the Board’s complex task of maintaining the property while conserving resources, balancing individual rights with community concerns, and acknowledges that service on the Board is, for the most part, a thankless but necessary endeavor. The “wise” resident still needs to be educated about the more detailed rules and nuances that govern the community but can be counted on to support the Board’s honest efforts and may even be an attractive candidate for a future position on a committee or the Board.
The “evil” (also referred to as “wicked” or “rebellious”) son is the one who does not consider himself to be a part of the community
This is the resident who constantly complains, accuses the Board of impropriety at every turn, and considers the Board to be the “enemy of the people.” The Haggadah suggests, however, that the “evil” son still deserves to be told the story of the exodus from Egypt. Similarly, the “evil” community resident must still be told the “story” of community living.
As unrewarding as it may seem, Boards should still take the time to explain to the community “troublemaker” what its challenges are, why it has made certain decisions, and what its plans are for the future.
Boards should not stoop to the negativity of the “evil” resident but should do their best to be transparent and to show such a resident what he/she is missing by acting as if he/she is an outsider looking in, and not a full-fledged member of the community. Why be so generous or benevolent to one who foments so much division and animosity? Because the “evil” child – or community resident – is still part of the “family,” and by including this person as a member of the community and treating him/her kindly, we may one day see a change in attitude.
The “simple” son, for better or worse, probably represents the majority of residents in most private communities
This is not meant to be a derogatory term. Most people purchase homes in condominium/co-op/HOA communities because they are looking for peace, quiet, and privacy. They are not interested in praising or attacking the Board. They are not interested in learning how the community operates, and they are not interested in getting involved. Virtually every community needs this “silent majority.” They obey the House Rules, pay the monthly fees on time, and do not consume much of the Board’s time or attention. The Haggadah reminds us that this group also deserves attention. The “simple” son must still be told the story of Passover, but in a straight-forward and watered-down version. Similarly, the Board should attempt to educate the “simple” residents regarding community matters and concerns. That way, these residents will feel comfortable attending annual meetings and voting, both in Board elections and on proposed amendments to the governing documents. Just don’t expect a whole bunch of feedback – positive or negative.
The youngest son
Finally, we get to “the son who does not know how to ask a question.” This is presumably the youngest son, who doesn’t yet understand anything about the Jews having been slaves in Egypt, the exodus from Egypt, or the traditions of Passover. He doesn’t know how to ask a question because he doesn’t yet know anything about the subject at hand. I would liken this son to the resident who has only recently moved into the community. He/she knows very little about monthly fees, late fees, by-laws, house rules, special assessments, and all the other aspects of community association living. The Haggadah commands that this son be taught the traditions of Passover from the beginning. Thus, every community association Board should consider conducting a “welcome interview” for new residents to introduce them to the basic obligations and the privileges of living in the community.
And the education shouldn’t end there. Over time, any new owner may develop into a “wise,” “evil,” or “simple” resident. The Board has the opportunity to guide that development so that each resident becomes a contributing member.
While each of the four types of residents may demand a slightly different approach, it is still incumbent upon the Board to treat them more or less equally, as integral members of the community, and to persistently seek to educate those residents, to the extent possible, about community association living. It is an old message (about 1,000 years old) that has withstood the test of time.
